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the unoriginal masterpiece

well hello. I am an asexual male and I like to make people laugh.
Apr 17 '14

basedgosh:

dont ask me to smile in pictures because i will look like this 100% of the time
image

(Source: basedgosh)

Apr 16 '14

(Source: appil)

Apr 15 '14
Apr 15 '14

julius-caesar-official:

ladragonaria:

Any salad can be a Caesar salad if you stab it enough

i feel slightly offended

We’re probably not stabbing hard enough

Apr 15 '14

cliterallysame:

this is honestly my favorite post

(Source: seththewolf)

Apr 15 '14

rneerkat:

arteries will always hold a special place in my heart

(Source: rneerkat)

Apr 15 '14

crunchrapsupreme:

literally the most important show you’ll ever watch

Apr 15 '14
dogscan:

Okay no. Fucking no. You think your sandwich is cute with peanut butter and jelly hearts, fucker? Well you’ll change your mind once you put it together and try to eat it. First you’ll get a mouthful of just bread and disappointment, then when you take another bite your mouth will be assaulted by copious the amounts of sticky peanut butter and sugary jelly and there won’t be enough bread to save you from it. A sandwich like that is what failure tastes like. The pb and j may be shaped like hearts but there’s no love in that sandwich. It’s about balance. Life needs balance, and so does your fucking sandwich. You disgust me. Don’t talk to me until you know how to make a proper sandwich.

dogscan:

Okay no. Fucking no. You think your sandwich is cute with peanut butter and jelly hearts, fucker? Well you’ll change your mind once you put it together and try to eat it. First you’ll get a mouthful of just bread and disappointment, then when you take another bite your mouth will be assaulted by copious the amounts of sticky peanut butter and sugary jelly and there won’t be enough bread to save you from it. A sandwich like that is what failure tastes like. The pb and j may be shaped like hearts but there’s no love in that sandwich. It’s about balance. Life needs balance, and so does your fucking sandwich. You disgust me. Don’t talk to me until you know how to make a proper sandwich.

(Source: music-singing-sun)

Apr 15 '14
Apr 15 '14

lecic-has-a-shovel:

yungterra:

There is nothing worse than hearing people attempt to sound intelligent by using lengthy words and MISUSING THEM

I completely photosynthesize with this

(Source: yungterra)